In Defense of Social Media

If you don't subscribe to social media, then you will turn to reality television.
If you turn to reality television, then you'll apply to be on a reality tv show.
If you get on the reality tv show, then you'll meet a cross-eyed witch doctor from New Brunswick.
If you meet the cross-eyed witch doctor from New Brunswick, then you'll marry the cross-eyed witch doctor from New Brunswick.

Moral: Don't marry a cross-eyed witch doctor from New Brunswick.

Leisure Suit Zombie

I am bold and courageous.
 I have germs that are contagious.
     While I fear I've lost my mind,
           And my toes I cannot find;
                     In my polyester suit,
                I am the forbidden fruit.
       Do you like the way I move?
      It's a special kind of groove.
From my head to my platform shoes,
I am guaranteed front page news.

I am sure you are aware,
There's a fragrance in the air.
I'd love to love you honey.
But not now, I'm getting hungry.